Disneyland is hard.

We know that there are going to be harder times whenever we are doing something that is outside of the normal schedule. And Disneyland? Well, it is pretty much as far outside of the normal schedule as it is possible to get. So, we shouldn’t be at all surprised when our neurodivergent loved ones (or ourselves, if we’re honest) have difficulties with something that comes up in the day, and a meltdown or other hardship ensues.

Frankly, given the amount of noise, light, and expectations that are thrown at all of us every moment we are in the Parks, it is astounding (and an accomplishment of note) that they, and we, don’t run screaming for the exit more often.

Predictability is important, but also kind of impossible.

It is also true that it can be nearly (or entirely) impossible to predict what the proverbial straw that breaks the camel’s back will be. To share a personal example, one of our expansion packs was entirely put out that the “Billy the Goat” that can be seen on Big Thunder Mountain was the wrong “Billy the Goat.” You see, unbeknownst to us, the EP had heard of Billy, and his presence on the ride, and was really, really excited to see him. However, The Billy at Disneyland Paris, unlike the ones at other Disney locations, is not chewing on a stick of dynamite.

This, while probably for the best for Billy, was unexpected, and resulted in a massive disappointment for the EP (while he was already stressed out by just being at Disneyland). We did what any sensible parents would do in that situation and engaged in a bunch of online research on the side of the path outside the ride to determine if there was ANOTHER Billy who made his home on Big Thunder Mountain. Alas, after much research, and asking several Disney Cast Members (who, kudos to them, took my strange questions in stride), we came to the inevitable conclusion that there can be only one Billy, and he was not the right one.

That was pretty much it for that day.

It was mid-afternoon in any event, so there were a lot of things adding to the day before this revelation occurred. While I think we tried to go on one more ride after this, I don’t think it was very successful, and that was about it for that day. And honestly? That’s ok.

There may have been things we could have done to help the EP recover, but it is also ok to just make the call and pull out of that particular trench run. We have been fortunate in being able to go to the Parks on multiple days, so when this sort of thing happens it isn’t a stress point. In fact, this is the primary reason that we decided to book multiple day trips to the Parks, as we were quite certain that we would have days like this.

Ideally, we could anticipate everything that could possibly arise and have a counter to it, but let’s be honest. That is never going to work. And we will only increase our stress to unmanageable levels if we put that pressure on ourselves or on our loved ones. Not that there aren’t things we CAN do to help, that is the whole point of this guide – but we also know that we aren’t going to be able to prepare for everything. Stress will be present for everyone. Meltdowns and disappointments will happen.

What do we do??

So then, what can we do to help reduce or minimize the fallout from these events when they happen?

First things first, forgive yourself. Forgive others. Whatever it was that led to the meltdown/tragedy/whatever was no one’s first, second, or third choice.

It is the natural outpouring of emotion, frustration, communication, and so many other things that simply needs to find an outlet. Right now. Accept it, be in the moment, and don’t let anyone’s perspective of you change a single thing you need to do to help your loved one. Do you need to sit in a puddle in the rain and cry it out for a while? Do that. But try to do it to the side of the path if possible. You don’t want people tripping over you when you’re feeling your feelings. Do you need to get away from the madding crowd so that you can recover your balance? Do that. Do you need to eat something? Do that.

You know you and your loved ones the best, and so you know what is needed in that moment better than anyone else. And it is ok to need things. It is ok for our loved ones (and ourselves) to feel overwhelmed by an entirely overwhelming situation. I don’t know about any of you, but for me, knowing that these moments of overwhelm can (or rather, probably will) happen actually takes much of the stress off of the day. The pressure to do Disney “right” is gone, and we are just our family, doing a (really stressful) thing that we know will be stretching for all of us.

So then, what can we do if we know it is going to be a stressful day full of meltdowns? Well, I never said FULL of meltdowns, so don’t go putting words in my mouth, fictional reader. And while there undoubtedly will be stress, there are many things we can do, both in preparing for a Disneyland Paris trip and during the trip itself, to reduce that stress. Let’s get into some details.